My Heart for Texas

I may be behind on blog post from our summer but as I write, Texas is facing devastation! Hurricane Harvey has hit the state as a category 4 hurricane, with barely any time to react and prepare. Then it decided to drop feet and feet of rain across the state which resulted in catastrophic flooding. The entire coast of Texas has been affected, and Texas is a HUGE state! Texas has a piece of Keith and my heart. I was born there.  I went to college there. We met there. We got married there. We both have family and dear friends that live there. I may say I am Zambian (which is true) but Texas is my home state. These dear folk are my kin!  During this week, Keith and I ache to get on a plane and go help. Much like our Texan friends did when we had our massive flood in Alaska. They jumped on planes to come help. But at the moment  I as I write this, many people are still being affected by this disaster! And they sit and wait because they are stuck or cut off from everyone else. My family is cut off by flooded roads. Homes have been flooded or even wiped away. Towns have been completely  destroyed. And peoples lives have been totally destroyed. Last night as I sat watching the news, because I just cant turn away, I started to reflect on how these people are feeling. And I can say, I know exactly how many of you are feeling. This post is for both you and the people that want to help. Some things to DO and things NOT TO! Here are some of my thoughts from my personal experience....

1) When you see damaged homes DON'T say "It's just Stuff" or "It's just a house" "It can be replaced". Because yes, you MIGHT be right, It is NOT something people want to hear. It may be just stuff or just a house but it is THEIR stuff or THEIR house. This is peoples lives. Their memories. Their money used to create those memories. Memories that are gone or damaged. So Yes their family may all be safe, which is the most important thing, but it's not just stuff to all of them. Don't say it! just say I'm sorry!

2) Let them mourn the loss of those things! You may not know what it's like to loose a special ornament that your Great-Great Grandma made for your Christmas tree. Let them cry for all the Baby keepsakes that are lost, or all the letters from a loved one that they kept and reread over and over again. Let them cry for the homes they have to rebuild. Let them mourn for their losses. Just let them!

3) Admit that you won't be "fine" for a while. Many of these families have gone through big ordeals. Their memories of this devastating time will not just be gone tomorrow. Like Military people that come back from war zones, these people will have PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Their kids might and will freak out when it rains and water starts accumulating in the streets. They might start screaming in the middle of a public place months down the road, saying "Mommy we need to get to a higher place! We need to get in a boat!" They will automatically start looking for those rescue boats. Adults might start having a hard time breathing when they see rushing water. Hearing horns and sirens on game shows might have you all jumping out of bed ready for evacuation.  And you might have to gather your kids in your own bed and just hug them when they hear sirens. It takes a while to get those sounds out of your head. Adults will sometimes ACT like it's fine and then all that fear and stress comes out and sometimes that is a humbling and not so nice place to be in. It won't be "fine" tomorrow.  Things like this sometimes takes years to get over.  Just let it take it's time.

4) There are some fun or laughable times in tragedy. Your kids may think it's awesome that they got to eat Granola bars and peanuts for dinner. Or they may think this was the best day ever because they got to ride in a boat, a bus, a airplane all on the same day! Or they got to have a big slumber party with other friends in a new place with lots of beds scattered everywhere. They may remember the play ground in the park while you are at a disaster meeting. They may think you are the best, for letting them ride the elevator UP and DOWN a million times to entertain them.  While their parents stress kids seem to see the FUN in everything. Let them. They will make you laugh and recover a lot faster.  I hope and pray all the kids will have good memories of the craziness but I know many won't. Kids are resilient but it takes time. It's OK to Laugh at funny things, like catching fish that are swimming in your living room. Or laugh when your neighbor starts singing water songs, like "the Rains came down and the floods came up" Or even the theme song from Titanic, though if there are icebergs floating around Texas right now, I would be a little concerned. Just laugh there are funny moments in Tragic ones.

5) Don't Compare Loses. Everyone lost something! It might be a house, car, a pet, or loved one, or  they may even have  lost peace of mind. Dollar signs don't always mean you lost more or less. Everybody lost something! Don't compare!

6) Excepting help and donations is HARD and HUMBLING! People in general are proud independent people.  Being dependent is not in most of our nature. Most of us work hard for what we have. If you are getting donations, it is hard to be dependent on others for your basic needs. I know. It is a very humbling experience. If you are giving donations, just know it is really hard to be on the receiving end of charity. Peoples pride is hard to get rid of, that is the reason there are so many verses in the bible about pride.  Just know excepting charity is HARD for many! And don't feel bad about excepting it either. You are being blessed and blessing someone else. It's a circle. One day you may be able to give to someone else in need!

7) Be there for the LONG ROAD AHEAD! This disaster is and will be on going. It is still hitting family as I write. But know, this is not a everything is better tomorrow. People may still be sitting in a shelter and friends are asking "How can we help?" Right now those people have NO IDEA how much help they will need or where to even start. The tragedy JUST happened. They are still trying to wrap their mind around the loss. Offer now, but also offer in a week, or a month or even a year! Be there for the long road. They will forget all the people who asked to help, they will forget, so offer again. When they get to their homes and assess the damage, after they figure out what they lost and what they need, Offer help then too. They will have to figure out all that but don't abandon them. Wait and offer again. The help they need may be years away but just be there willing and able to help.

These are just some thoughts going through my head as I wait to hear from family and friends. We are praying for you here in Maine. We ache for you!  We are here for you!  We love you!